The Beaver / RPG

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A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: Hello!

You: You see a beaver in the distance lumbering towards you, a menacing glare on its face. You are armed with duct tape, a balloon, a spare set of shoes, and nailclippers. What do you do?

Stranger: Hmm..

Stranger: Give me a moment, Sir or Ma’am.

Stranger: This is a pondersom question!

You: The beaver is getting closer with each passing second, but luckily it appears to have a broken foot

You: This slows it down somewhat

Stranger: First! I remove the shoeleaces from the shoes.

Stranger: Then I proceed to throw the lace-less shoes at the beaver, one by one, to distract it

Stranger: Next, I use the laces and duct tape to attach the balloon to my head.

You: The beavier is angrier and more determined to attack

You: It is drawing near

Stranger: As it is a good sized balloon with helium, the loss of weight of the extra shoes lifts me off of the ground.

You: The beaver jump at your rising figure, snapping at your toes, but luckily you are high enough to avoid its rabid attack

You: Now you are rising above the treeline, still with nailclippers and ducttape

You: You will continue to rise unless you figure out a way to get back to land

You: the wind picks up and blows you eastward, towards what looks like a wooden hut

Stranger: I use the nail clippers to snip the balloon string. I fall on the roof.

You: You land on the roof, which then cracks and sends you falling into the shack below. You are not badly injured.

Stranger: PHEW.

You: The shack appears to be abandoned. You are in a small dusty room.

You: There is a door to your left, and a peice of paper next to your feet

Stranger: I pick up the paper to read it.

You: It appears to be a faded map, with one corner missing. It may lead to treasure.

You: It is too dark to make out much more.

Stranger: I moved to where the hole in the ceiling is, to let in some light on the map.

You: You see a crude drawing of a house, presumably the shack you are in. A dotted line rises north, across what may be a river, and then turns sharply east where a thick black X is revealed.

You: The door is still to your left, and you are armed with duct tape, nai clippers, and a ragged balloon is still strapped to your head. You also have the map.

You: You hear some thumps at the door

You: Then a scraping sound

You: After a few minutes you realise that it is the beaver, trying to eat through the door.

Stranger: I look around to see if there are any other doors that lead outside.

You: There is a boarded up window to your right, and a pile of scraps directly below it.

You: The scrap pile is covered in dust, so it is difficult to discern what exactly is in the pile.

Stranger: I kick aside the scraps to reveal what is underneath.

You: You get a splinter in your ankle.

You: Underneath, you see a crowbar, a lighter, and some rusty bent nails

Stranger: pick up the crowbar and the lighter, and pry open the boarded up window,

Stranger: *.

You: Piece by piece, you pry the boards away. Sunlight trickles through a cracked window.

You: The gnawing noises at the door are getting louder and more insistent

You: The window is now free of boards.

Stranger: I jump out the window and take off running.

You: You jump at the window, and realise the glass was still there. Ouch. Because it was cracked, it shatters and you are left bleeding.

You: You make it through the window and limp hurridly away from the shack. The sun is beginning to set

You: You still are grasping the map in one hand, and the crowbar in the other.

Stranger: I check to make sure the nail clippers are still in my pocket, and the duck tape and string in my hair

You: All items are acocunted for.

You: accounted*

Stranger: Lovely.

Stranger: Lighter?

You: In your pocket with the nail clippers

Stranger: Also lovely.

You: You look around and find yourself in a clearing. You hear water rushing in the distance.

You: Behind you, you hear faint angry squealing noises. The beaver must have finally eaten its way through the door, only to find you had escaped

You: It is angrier than ever and determined to hunt you down

You: It is a rare known fact that beavers, particularly rabid ones, have a very keen sense of smell.

You: After some sniffing around, the beaver finds your scent and starts hobbling angrily in your direction

You: You are starting to gather dust.

You: The beaver is now very close, and it smells your blood. It hungers.

Stranger: (sorry, vanished)

Stranger: I turn around and hold the crowbar like a baseball bat, ready to defend myself.

You: The beaver leaps at you, squealing as though it were possessed

Stranger: I swing the crowbar, aiming for its head

You: Roll to determine outcome of crowbar swing? Y/N

Stranger: Y

You: (1=worst, 12=best)

You: 9.

You: You swing at the beaver’s head and connect. Not hard enough to kill it, but the creature is momentarily stunned

Stranger: I flee.

You: You run towards the sound of rushing water, remembering that there may be some special treasure if you follow the map

You: You eventually reach a river, which is rushing pretty rapidly. It is narrow but deep.

You: The beaver has regained control and is limping towards you, making a strange screeching noise

Stranger: I do not dive in, for beavers are slow on land but fast in the water. I run down the bank, looking for a way to cross the river.

You: You run eastwards along the bank, and soon come across a delapitated wonden bridge. It looks like it could fall apart at any minute.

You: wooden*

You: However, for now it still stands.

Stranger: I attempt to inflate the balloon again

You: The balloon has a small hole in it.

You: All the helium has escaped

You: The beaver is once again gaining on you

You: It is excited by the prospect of killing you. It would be able to feed its family a feast like never before!

You: Typically this beaver eats smaller creatures. It is a carnivore beaver. However, driven by hunger and sickness, it is determined to land a great meal.

Stranger: I make a daring leap across the bridge, praying that light feet will prevent it from breaking.

You: You land halfway across the bridge on a semi-sturdy plank of wood. There are large gaps where the wood has rotted away. Contiunuing with your momentum, a second leap takes you to the end of the bridge

You: You foot falls through, but the rest of your body tumbles forward onto land

You: Your ankle is twisted and cut, but still usable.

Stranger: I hobble up, using the crowbar, and continue running.

You: You consult the map and realise you must be close to the treasure.

You: You run eastward a bit farther when you stumble over a shovel

You: You trip and fall.

You: Behind you, the beaver contemplates the bridge in a rare act of brains over brawn

You: The shovel is laying over what appears to be a fresh mound of dirt,

You: .

Stranger: Oh dear…

Stranger: Sir or Miss Stranger?

Stranger: You have led me on a thrilling quest, but I am afraid that I must remove myself from this website. I have homework I must complete, and bed to attend to.

Stranger: I thank you greatly for the adventure you provided. It was most entertaining!

Stranger: And thus…

Stranger: I find myself unable to get up, even to use the shovel

You: very well. The ending was that you found an arsenal of weapons such as a flamethrower, shotguns, etc with which to kill the beaver. Success!

Stranger: : D

You: Thanks for playing along :)

Stranger: !

Stranger: Of course!

Stranger: Do you find many who are willing to play?

You: Not too many hehe

You: Good luck with your homework :D Take care and don’t dream of beavers. Ciao!

You have disconnected.